I’m a couple of months into being a stay at home mum which seems an odd thing to say considering I’ve been doing this for a year already, but that was different, I was on maternity leave, I had a job to return to so drinking coffee and eating cake at any given opportunity especially as soon as Zack took his ‘twenty minutes is all I need in a day nap’ was the guilt free right I had earned, and I drank a lot of coffee. Actually I ate a lot of cake too. Fact. Mostly in those moments if I was solo I found myself contemplating reading the book I’d forgotten to pack or re writing the ‘to-do’ list which often had become longer rather than shorter, and considering whether if I made the phone calls I needed to make just how far into the conversation I’d get before I’d have to apologetically end the call due to a waking boy who through his sobbing would be telling anyone who listened I hadn’t fed him for days (it’s not true just to clarify). I found so often that my thoughts took me to thinking about my mum who died from Breast Cancer in 2008, and as I sit today in yet another coffee shop a month into my new role desperate for the caffeine to kick in so I can brave whatever the rest of the day is going to throw at me, just for a split of a second I feel guilt,
New Year, a new role and a new me, that’s what we all say right, but 2018 really is the year I’m starting with the acceptance I am not a failure and the unknown of where it may take me. You see I spent much of 2017 stressing about this, and when, at the end of the year, I found myself sat in the doctors surgery for the first time ever about to admit just how stressed I’d become I knew I had a decision to make there and then; to return to work after a year’s maternity leave or not.
My second baby, a boy, had arrived and I had planned so many adventures but what I didn’t plan for was the journey I was going to go on myself
I am a 'wannabe' Nomad who currently lives in Sheffield with my husband and two children. I genuinely love exploring new places but finding time to fit this in is tricky so more often than not I'm found in the closest independent coffee shop because nothing cheers me up better than a decent coffee.